I know you don't know Dameron Slashfic
by sadyshea
Summary: When Macy comes to town to visit Cameron, Damian begins to feel jealous and he doesn't know why.  / dameron the glee project slash damian mcginty cameron mitchell
1. Chapter 1

Waking up in the morning has always been sort of a hard ship for me. But thanks to going on tour with Celtic Thunder, I've slowly gotten used to sleeping and waking up at random and inconvinient times. But Monday mornings still suck. Especially when you have an acting class in 40 mins completely across L.A… I need to get better at time management… clearly.

I rolled out of bed and pulled on a random shirt to pair with my favourite sweat pants that only saw the light of my apartment. I lazed out of my bedroom, dragging my feet as I walked into the kitchen. Cameron was up, talking on the phone with someone and seemed to be really into the conversation. I didn't want to interrupt him so I quietly grabbed my fav cereal, Lucky Charms (yah, yah YUCK IT UP. I'm a stereotype) and sat down at the table in the living room.

"So… you're heading out here in 3 days. I don't think I can wait that long." Cameron complained, and I suddenly deduced it was Macy on the other end.

I had never met her, but she seemed like a sweet girl. Probably as innocent and well-kept as her boyfriend. I rolled my eyes at how drippingly sweet Cam's voice turned when he talked to her; it wasn't his usual laid back talk, he was more engaged and sounded like something out of a chick flick. Any girl's dreams. The sensitive musician who was also a gentlemen, the perfect guy. Basically, she was a lucky girl.

"Yah, I love you too, Mace. Bye." Cam said, before ending the call. He looked like a love sick puppy before I snapped him out of it by saying, "Dude, it sounds like you lose half your IQ when you talk to her."

He rolled his eyes, probably deciding that I was just jealous. I was just looking out for a friend. And giving him a hard time.

"So… Macy's coming out for visit? I thought she couldn't come out til semester break?" I asked.

"Yah, but she's ahead on homework and her dad said she could come out for the weekend." He explained, smiling widely.

I couldn't help but smile along with him, his joy was always infectious.

"I can't wait to meet the girl you're always raving about." I said, before finishing my cereal and throwing the bowl in the sink.

"Damian! It's your day to the dishes, so you better do that when you get home from acting!" Cameron warned, sounding like my mother.

"Ugh… fine." I said, through my door as I dressed for class.

I ran out the door, still not quite ready for the day. And on top of that, I had an unidentifiable sick feeling in the bottom of my stomach…


	2. Chapter 2

"Late as usual." Sam murmured, as I ran in and took my seat with him at the back of the class.

"Lunch after class?" I offered in a effort to somehow make up for my tardiness.

"I'm so down." Sam answered, eyes sparkling with excitement.

After class, we headed to a burger joint about a block away from the workshop. Even during the walk, Sam was bouncing around with anxiety.

"Calm down, we're here!" I said, opening the door.

We sat down in our usual booth and the waiter automatically brought us over two rootbeers. _We come here too often.._.

"So, you seemed down in class about something, Damo. Tell Sam all." He demanded, taking a sip of his drink.

"What do you mean?" I deflected, making circles with my straw in my drink.

"Spill or I'll force it out of you." Sam threatened so casually it was almost creepy.

"Fine." I gave in. "Macy's coming to town and I don't know how I feel about it." I distinctly avoided eye contact because I knew Sam would just burst out laughing if I even looked up at him. I probably sounded so pathetic.

"That sucks. A chick invading the bat cave? Me no gusta!" Sam said, completely putting my thoughts into words.

I looked up and we both smiled widely at each other.

"Okay. Good. I thought I was crazy for a second. I mean, it's nothing against Macy. Our apartment is just sorta… bro territory. Y'know?" I elaborated, feeling much less weird about what I had thought before.

"I think you do gotta ride it out for Cam's sake. See how she is. If she's as chill as Hannah, it won't even be a problem." He suggested, salivating as the waiter placed down our bacon cheeseburgers.

"Good advice. Thanks, Sam." I said, before we mowed down.

Between bites, I asked, "Has anything else happened with Marissa?"

Sam shrugged and continued eating.

I set down my burger and raised an eyebrow. "You kissed her Sam!" I accused.

He almost choked on his burger before answering, "You're such a hypocrite! What about Lindsay?"

"What do you mean 'Lindsay'?" I asked. "We flirted at one party. That means nothing. You were macking on Marissa the whole night!"

Sam almost looked angry. "I actually like Marissa. You just like the attention that you get from Lindsay." He spat, throwing down his burger.

"That's NOT true." I retorted, looking down awkwardly.

"Ok. Prove it. Ask her out." Sam challenged, knowing I'd chicken out.

Instead I pulled out my phone and called Lindsay. Sam simply looked amused. She picked up almost instantly.

"Hey, what's up, Damian?" She asked in her peppy voice.

"Want to go to a movie tonight? Just the two of us?" I responded.

Sam almost burst out laughing, so I kicked him from under the table.

"I would love to!" She said and I could hear Hannah dancing around in excitement in the background.

"Pick yah up at 8?" I suggested.

"Perfect." She confirmed.

I couldn't help but smile at Lindsay's enthusiasm about our date. Maybe if I had Lindsay around on the weekend it wouldn't be so awkward with the whole Macy and Cameron situation.

"See yah then!" I said, before hanging up the phone.

"Oh man, you have that stupid look on your face when you like someone. I'm embarassed to be around you. But at least you actually like her." Sam teased but I ignored him. I was too busy relishing in the fact that I was killing two birds with one stone.


	3. Chapter 3

"You're going on a date with Lindsay?" Cameron asked, incredulously.

"Why do you sound so surprised?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I just think it's a bit random." He explained, scrubbing a dish while I dried them.

The one downfall to our apartment was that we didn't have an automatic dishwasher, so we had to do it ourselves. It was supposed to be my night but Cameron had finally given in and decided to help me.

"Not really. Don't you remember that Glee Project finale party? We basically hit it off all night." I defended, trying not to take Cam's opinion on my date personally.

"Yah, I guess so. I just thought that was harmless flirting." He said and I laughed out loud, because of how different his reaction was to what Sam's had been.

He scowled, scrubbing the dish harder until I snatched it away. I smiled and his face softened into a small smirk.

"I hope you guys have fun. Sorry about being weird about it." He apologized, giving us his blessing which made me feel a bit better about his original reaction. _Not that I always need Cam's approval on thing…_

"I gotta go actually. Do you mind finishing up?" I pleaded, looking down at my watch. He rolled his eyes but nodded almost a second later.

"Thanks!" I yelled, running out the door.

I hailed a cab once I got down to the street and gave the cab driver the address of Lindsay and Hannah's apartment. When we arrived, Lindsay was sitting on the front steps, staring down at her phone. I got out of the cab and called to her, "Linds! Over here!"

She looked up and gave me a big smile. She jumped up, ran toward me and hugged me tightly. When we pulled apart, I held open the door for her and she stepped into the cab. I climbed in right behind her.

"So.. what are we seeing?" She asked excitedly as the cab took off to the movie theatre.

"I was thinking we go see the Lion King 3D." I suggested, knowing how much Lindsay enjoyed Disney movies. _And I do too…_

"I've been wanting to see that." She said approvingly as the cab driver came to a stop in front of the movie theatre.

I paid the cab driver and opened the door again for Lindsay.

"Such a gentleman." She teased of my chivalrous gesture and I just shrugged because I was so used to it.

"You paid for the cab, I'm paying for the movie tickets." She explained as we walked up to the ticket booth.

"You sure?" I asked.

"Definitely." She confirmed, pulling out her wallet and paying for our tickets.

As we walked into the theatre, I slipped my hand into hers but suddenly felt a pang of guilt somewhere within me. I didn't know what it was so I just ignored it and smiled down at her as we took our seats.

As the lights went down, I thought for a second about what Cameron had said earlier: "_I just think it's a bit random.."_

Somehow my plan didn't seem to be as good of an idea as before. But instead of dwelling on that further, I slipped my arm around Lindsay and she snuggled into me. All this doubt and confusion was starting to get to me, but then I looked at Lindsay and it comforted me.


	4. Chapter 4

The movie ended and we walked out of the theatre, Lindsay smiling like it was Christmas morning. She had basically cried the whole movie so she looked a little blotchy, but she didn't seem to care.

"Oh my god, when Mufasa got trampled. I lost it!" She exclaimed, throwing up her arms to emphasize her point.

I laughed at her honesty, admiring that part of her. She really didn't care what people thought. Even if we were the only teenagers amongst a sea of kids and their parents.

"I'm glad we saw that together, Cameron never would have come with me." I admitted, taking hold of her hand.

"Well, I'm glad you invited me." She said, nuzzling her head into my shoulder.

As we walked out into the L.A. night, I hailed a cab easily and we climbed in, still connected by our hands.

The cab ride was basically quiet, both of us soaking in each other's presence silently. I quite liked it.

When we pulled up to Lindsay's apartment, I got out to open the door for her as she stepped out.

She smiled coyly, as we stood in our silence. "So…" She murmured.

I knew she was expecting a kiss so I leaned in and pressed my lips against hers. She seemed flustered at first but soon relaxed into the kiss.

When I pulled away, she looked like she was seeing stars. I had to admit I hadn't felt much, but there was something about Lindsay that intrigued me. _So what if I didn't like her right away? Things like this take time…_

She scuffed her heel on the pavement, a blush emanating from her cheeks. She was rather adorable.

"Hey, I was wondering." I started tentatively.

"Yah?" She asked, looking up at me with hopeful eyes. It made me chuckle.

"I was wondering if you wanted to go out again on the weekend. Macy's in town and I thought we could all go on a double date or something." I suggested.

Lindsay nodded anxiously. "Totally!" She blurted, before realizing how she sounded. "I mean, er…. sure." She backtracked, trying to sound less excited.

"Great. I'm sure you and Macy will get along fine." I said. "Not that I've met her yet…" I continued worriedly.

"Oh, I'm sure she will. She will love your guy's place." Lindsay gushed, before throwing her arms around me in a supportive hug.

Although I was getting a bit squished, I appreciated the gesture. I now had someone who I could trust to support me no matter what. And it didn't hurt that she was beautiful.

"Bye." She said after she pulled away, running up the stairs to her apartment.

I waved before climbing up into the cab and she blew a kiss. It was nice having someone who liked you. Just for being you.

When I got back to my apartment, I walked in and threw myself on the couch. I grabbed the remote and flicked on the TV. X factor was on. I settled in for a night of relaxation.

About an hour in I realized my apartment was irregularly empty. Uncomfortably so. I looked around and realized what was missing. Cameron.

I got up and looked around for a note. If Cameron was going out, he always left a note. But there was nothing on the counter on the fridge. I flipped open my phone to check if he sent me a text. Nada.

My heart started to race a bit. _Was I seriously this nervous about Cameron not being around? He's 21 years old and I'm worrying about him like I'm his mother. It's just sad…_

I chatised myself for worrying so much and threw myself back onto the couch before dozing off to sleep…

zzz…..

zzzzz…..

I was awoken by a giggle. A very girly giggle. I instictively stayed low, hiding from the intruder. I grabbed my Wii golf club and wielded it as my weapon. I slowly peeked over the side of the couch and was met by a scene that absolutely churned my stomach.


	5. Chapter 5

A girl with blond, curly hair was sitting at the kitchen counter, laughing fliratiously at some story Cameron was telling.

"Damian!" She exclaimed, hopping down from the kitchen stool and walking toward me. She threw her arms around me even though I was still on the couch with the Wii club raised.

She smelled nice and had soft skin and she was gorgeous, I could see the appeal. But she was just way too perky. But I knew from the look in Cameron's eyes, I needed to give her a chance.

"Hi. Nice to meet you, Macy." I said, as I pulled away and discreetly threw the club behind me.

"We are going to have so much fun hanging out!" She said, smiling brightly at the two of us.

"Definitely." Cameron agreed, as she walked back toward him. I climbed over the couch and leaned against the counter.

"So… what happened to '3 days'?" I asked, raising an eyebrow speculatively.

"I just couldn't wait. So I got my dad to book an early flight and I surprised Cameron!" She explained, lacing her fingers into Cameron's. "When I called him earlier today, I was already in L.A!"

"Yah, I got a text that said: 'I see you'. I thought it was creepy at first cus I was out on my balcony. But when I looked down, I saw Mace waving up at me!" Cameron added to the story, laughing.

"Adorable." I commented rather sarcastically but neither of them noticed with how wrapped up in each other they were. I rolled my eyes.

"How'd the date with Lindsay go?" Cameron asked, finally breaking his eye contact with Macy.

"Ooooooo. Who's Lindsay?" Macy asked, teasingly.

I blushed a bit then said, "It went well. We kissed at the end and I invited her to go out with us on a double date."

Cameron looked sort of awkward and his eyes became downcast. In contrast, Macy's eyes brightened and she gushed, "That sounds perfect!"

"Great." I confirmed, liking that something about the situation was bugging him. _Now he knew how I felt._

Macy yawned, stretching her arms in the air. "I'm plum tuckered." She admitted, grabbing her pink suitcase of the ground and picked it up.

"I'll show the spare room." Cam said, and I almost laughed. It always slipped my mind that their relationship was all lovey dovey and nothing more because of their religion.

"Night, Damian." Macy said, waving before following Cam off into the spare room.

I sighed, realizing how long of a week this was going to be. I dragged my feet as I headed toward my room, moping in self pity.

The text alert sounded from my cel, so I flipped the phone open. A message from Lindsay was on the screen:

**Night! xoxox**

I smiled, loving that someone seemed to care.

As my head hit the pillow, I thought about the hurt expression that Cameron had had on his face when I suggested the double date. I suddenly felt a bit guilty.

… _But why?_


	6. Chapter 6

I woke up in the morning with Cam's baby blues staring down at me. Instead of freaking out, its just made me smile.

"I seriously thought you'd jump out of your skin." Cam explained, resting a tray on my bedside table and took a seat at the end of the bed.

"You brought me breakfast? What a good wife." I teased, sitting up and reaching for the tray. I rested it on my lap and took a huge bite out of a piece of toast.

"Hilarious." Cam said flatly although I could see in his eyes that he was amused. "Actually, it was Macy's idea." He continued, reaching for a strawberry on my tray.

I slapped it away and growled,"My breakfast in bed. Not yours."

Cameron's eyes shot wide in pretend outrage as he tackled me, shoving handfuls of my breakfast into his mouth. I laughed as he as he made various ridiculous faces while he devoured my food. I couldn't even fight back because I was laughing so hard. It felt good to laugh, it's always stress relieving; Cam always knew how to make me feel better.

I looked into his eyes, all wild an crazy, and I mussed his hair with one hand. He stopped his attack for a moment and had an intense look on his face as if he were boring into my soul. But it passed as soon as it arrived and he continued on his rampage.

My best friend, Cam the madman, was probably one of the best things that had happened to me. I loved the guy. I pulled him down into a tight hug, not caring that there was a tray between us. We were both killing ourselves laughing when Macy's voice cried, "What the heck you guys? I worked hard on that breakfast!"

Cam automatically jumped off me, looking like he had been caught in the act. "Sorry, Mace." He murmured.

" Whatever." She snapped, storming out of the room.

"I should…" Cam explained desperately.

"Go." I responded, disappointed.

He ran after her and I was left to clean up the mess I hadn't even initiated.

By the time I had finished cleaning up and got dressed, it was already the afternoon. I went out to the kitchen and saw a note that said:

**Took Mace shopping. See yah around dinner time.**

**- Cam**

I spent most of the day trying to memorize some lines for my acting class but I couldn't get the image of Cameron's wild eyes out of my head.

I tried texting Lindsay to distract myself but the conversation quickly bored me. On an impulse I texted Cam:

**Food fight after dinner? ;)**

I played some FIFA 2012 as I waited for a reply. My phone buzzed and Cam's text read:

**Rematch. It's SOO on!**

I responded:

**Maybe I'll mess up your dinner this time!**

I won my match when my phone by the time my phone vibrated again with Cam's reply.

**You wish. It won't even go that far. Two moves. Spaghetti thrown by me. You on the floor, crying in surrender.**

I laughed, imagining the scenario: him on stop of me again looking at me with _those_ eyes.

**A risk I'm willing to take to have the chance to rough you up.**

I texted back, smiling micheviously. I imagined Cam walking through a store following Macy as she picked through the LA couture, bored.

The image made me feel better about being so alone in the apartment.

Two minutes later, Cam responded:

**You're a risking worth taking. LOL**

As sappy and random as it was, it made me smile.

Only then did I realize I had been flirting with my best friend.


	7. Chapter 7

I set down my phone and decided not to answer his text. My mouth became dry as I thought about our close encounter this morning and how much I had been thinking about his eyes all day.

Why did Macy _really _bug me so much? I couldn't really be jealous, could I?

I sat down slowly on the couch, bringing my hands to rest my head that had suddenly become much heavier on them. Cameron had plagued my thoughts all day. And I wanted Macy gone so I could have all his attention to myself.

….Did I have a crush on him?

I'm nineteen years old, I shouldn't have crushes. I shouldn't get jealous. I should be mature enough to recognize my own feelings.. and yet, it had only just become clear to me.

I like Cameron. As more than a best friend. I wanted to be with him.

But I couldn't do that to him. To us. He'd be disgusted. I'd have to move out. It would change everything. He'd never want to see me again.

I needed something to drink. Something hard. I went to the fridge and grabbed a beer, opening it easily. I hated not being of age in the states, in Ireland, I had been legal for a year and my parents had allowed me to drink for a long time before that.

I chugged it down and cracked another, slurping it down shockingly easy. I was slammed with a buzz and smiled. I needed to forget, just lose myself in something to make me forget about my feelings.

I called Lindsay, without a thought: "Lindsay. Come over."

Of course, she arrived promptly ten minutes later, every hair in place looking as gorgeous as ever. I pulled her into a passionate kiss as soon as she arrived.

I didn't get it, I was attracted to her. Physically speaking. But I wanted to be kissing Cameron, not her. I wanted to run through Cameron's messy blond hair rather than her perfectly curled brown locks, as I was doing.

It was so confusing and the beer didn't help. I told her to go to my bedroom and she complied, with a sly smile on her face. She was so innocent.. but then not at the same time.

I smiled as she dissapeared into my room, and grabbed another two beer from the fridge and brought them into my room. Drinking half of one on the way in.

"You're drinking?" She asked, a little surprised.

"Yah, why?" I said defensively, as I drank the rest of my beer back.

"Well, do you really want to do this then?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.

"What do you even mean?" I responded, shaking my head in confusion.

All these questions were making my head hurt. I just wanted quiet so I leaned down on the bed and began to kiss her again. At first she seemed to like it so I pressed a little harder.

She began to make muffled sounds of protest, but I was finally becoming distracted. Everything was becoming a blur, so I ignored her, letting my hands roam wherever I felt.

I tasted blood as she screamed, pushing me off of her.

"What the hell, Damian? You bit me!" She cried, eyes full of tears.

The front door clicked open and I heard the muffled voices of Macy and Cameron entering the apartment. My heart skipped a beat as I realized that Cameron was finally back home.

"I'm.. I'm sorry." I murmured, not looking at her, distracted by Cameron. I just couldn't seem to escape it.

"No, you're not. You don't even care." Lindsay accused, grabbing her bag and throwing open my bedroom door.

"Sorry." I repeated, getting up to follow her out. A wave of guilt washed over me as I realized in selfishly trying to forget my true feelings, I had hurt Lindsay both physically and emotionally.

As she stormed out of the apartment, I tried calling after her but she completely ignored me. But the worst part is when I looked over at Macy and Cameron, their eyes full of shock.

"What happened?" Macy asked, cautiously.

"Nothing." I said, biting my lip, holding back my tears. It almost worked until I looked into Cameron's eyes, and then I lost it.

I had to get away, so I ran into my room and locked the door, knowing Cameron would try to find out what was wrong.

As I predicted, a knock sounded on my door as I began to chug back my fourth beer.

"Damian?" Cameron's voice inquired. "Can I come in?"

"No." I said, firmly.

"Well, whatever happened. You know you can talk to me about it. So.. whenever you're ready. I'm here for you." He explained, genuinely.

I started to cry harder and I muffled it by putting my face down into the pillow.

When he realized I wouldn't respond, he said, "Goodnight, Damian. Whatever it is, it'll turn out ok. I promise."

And as much as I wanted to believe him, I doubted that I would ever be ok again.


	8. Chapter 8

I woke up, my head pounding from last night's alcohol. I sat up, rubbing my eyes and generally just feeling sorry for myself. I remembered Lindsay's dramatic exit after I bit her.

Oh yah, I _bit_ her.

The girl who was nothing but sweet and caring to me. Who genuinely liked me. And I ruined it.

I shook my head in regret and got out of bed, still in yesterday's clothes. I didn't even care. Everything was messed up right now. My smell and style were the least of my concerns.

I looked at my watch and realized I had slept in past my acting class, Sam was going to kill me.

I ran out my bedroom door and was confronted by Cam eating breakfast on the kitchen counter, my heart automatically dropped into my stomach and I froze. His bed head made me smile. He really did look great, no matter what time of day it was.

"Hey." He said, looking up from his meal. "I'm surprised to see you smiling like that after last night…" He continued, concern in his voice.

I didn't have time for this. For these feelings and this confusion. There wasn't even enough time in the world for that.

"Yup. I'm all good." I lied, yanking my trainers on before rushing out the door, hearing Cameron calling my name in protest as I slammed the door and ran down the stairs.

I caught a cab and called Sam while we drove to the studio my classes were at.

"Sam! I'm sorry!" I apologized as he soon as he picked up the phone.

"You should be. I lied to the teacher and said you had food poisoning. You owe me lunch for saving your ass man." He grumbled into the phone.

"Thanks. And I'll meet you for lunch. Get our booth." I instructed.

"Already done." He responded before hanging up as the cab pulled up in front of the burger place.

I paid the cabbie and rushed inside and saw Sam scowling at me with his arms crossed. The burgers already sitting in front and across from him.

"You're welcome." He muttered, shaking his head in dissapointment.

I looked down embarrased as I slid into the booth.

"Well…" He prompted, causing me to look up at him with guilty eyes.

"I had a rough night." I admitted, picking up my burger and taking a big bite out of it.

"That's an understatement. Man, you look like crap." He said, harshly.

His honesty made me relax and smile. Sam called it like it was, thats what I loved about him…

In a totally platonic way.

But seriously, I was aware that my life was suddenly a mess and having something else point that out made me feel a bit more normal about it.

"What's wrong?" He asked, his eyes softening.

I laughed. It was like he knew what I was thinking. He knew it was something serious.

"I… I dunno." I mumbled, getting nervous again.

"Is it about Macy? Or… Lindsay?" He said, trying to make me feel comfortable.

"Both, well sorta. Last night I kinda got drunk and well… bit Lindsay on the lip." I explained, looking up at him just in time to see him stifle a laugh.

When he collected himself, he said, "Drinking never ends well. In my opinion. Why were you drinking in the first place?"

I sighed, knowing that there was no way of getting out of this. I took another bite and then said, "Ok. Well, so, remember when I was upset about Macy coming? Yah… so basically I realized why I don't like Macy. It's because…. I don't like her taking all of Cameron's attention. I'm jealous." I blushed and looked down.

"Oh." Sam said and then he processed what I actually had said. "… OH! Oh my god." He gushed, excitedly.

I relaxed at his reaction and tilted my head in question.

"Everything makes sense now! All those looks you used to give him during the Glee Project. 'Best friends', my ass!" He exclaimed, making me laugh.

"I totally forgive you, now. And I totally support you. Whatever that means. I won't say anything to anyone. I swear." He explained, picking up his burger and taking a big triumphant bite.

"It feels good to say out loud." I admitted, spreading my arms out on the top of the booth.

Knowing that I had Sam to support me automatically made me feel so much better. It wasn't all just all in my head anymore. Everything felt a little bit less confusing. It was such a relief.

"Don't think this means you're getting out of paying for this." He reminded me, completely serious.


	9. Chapter 9

After meeting up with Samuel, I felt much better about what had had happened last night. I texted Lindsay but as I expected, didn't receive a response. It felt awful, but she probably just needed time and I needed to respect that.

I took the slow route and walked home from the restaurant. I thought the fresh air might do me some good. Frankly, I was just avoiding getting home at all. I stopped about 13 times to study several useless things: a couple dogs, street signs I hadn't noticed before a Glee Billboard. I have mastered the art of procrastination. Once I found myself at the door of my apartment, I stood there for about five minutes before finally going in.

I winced when I saw Cameron watching football on TV and tried to sneak to my room as quietly as I could. Somehow Cameron heard me and turned around.

"Damian. Hey." He said, clearly unsure how to deal with me. He probably thought I was some sort of loose cannon after what happened.

I faltered for a moment and felt a wave of nausea rush through me. I staggered toward the kitchen counter and breathed deeply to collect myself. This was the way my body was punishing me for keeping secrets.

"Oh my god. Are you ok?" He asked, rushing over to me. He looped one arm under mine and leaned all my body weight against him before leading me toward the couch.

His eyes full of worry, he set me down. I winced at his concerned look and tried to simply ignore him. But of course I couldn't. I mean, I had feelings for him. How could I simply try to shut out the guy I cared so much about?

"I'm fine. Just a little exhausted. And hungover. Drinking last night was just an awful idea. Sorry to bug you with all this." I apologized, making eye contact with him again.

He looked completely at a loss. I felt distraught. I hated putting him through all this. The confusion. The unanswerable questions. But he was too respectful of my privacy to even ask. He just wanted to lessen my suffering. I understood that. If he found out, it would ruin everything.

"Please. Please tell me what's wrong. You can trust me. I swear." He begged of me.

I felt sicker than I ever felt. Sick with guilt, with the stress of keeping this secret, with the thought of him abandoning me because of my feelings for him. So I tried to change the subject, "Wanna play some FIFA?"

He burst out laughing and finally shook his head in agreement. He stood up and set the console up to play the game. I was surprised at how easily he had been distracted from his unanswered question, but it was also an amazing relief.

"Alright. Let's do this thing." He challenged, handing me a remote.

As we played the game, we got more and more into it. It was just like old times. No weirdness. Just friendly competition. Cus that's what he is to me, my best friend. I had to settle for that. The best friend in the entire world. There could never be anything more. But it was alright, because as long as we had this, there was nothing else I needed.

"Common, man. That was a shady move." He accused of me, pausing the game.

I laughed and quipped, "Clearly you don't know the rules of football. That was completely legal!"

He scowled and snapped, "Soccer. It's called soccer. Not football. We are in America, Damian!"

I knew he was just trying to get a rise out of me but I was genuinely insulted by his accusations. "You damn 'Americans' twisted the game and called it soccer. We play the real way, you just don't get the rules because it's been tainted by your 'New Worldish' ways." I huffed and grew more frustrated.

He paused for a moment and when he couldn't think of a comeback, he punched me in the shoulder. Astonished, I tackled him to the floor. He wasn't afraid to wrestle back and we soon found ourselves in a tangled mess. I was the first to lose it laughing. He quickly joined me, two best friends laughing, wrapped in each other's arms.

I looked at him and swiftly realized how close he was to me. My laughing came to a halt but he didn't seem to notice. He just continued on as I studied his beautiful face, his smiling eyes, his wild hair, his red lips. I wanted to reach out and touch them but I was frozen as I watched him.

I breathed in his scent and smiled, it was so damn familiar. So comforting. I never felt more at home than in Cameron's arms. How could this feeling be wrong? How could I never thought about it before now? It was wrong to pretend this wasn't as close to perfection as I had ever felt. So without a second thought, I leaned over, and kissed him.

But he stopped laughing and his eyes stopped smiling. Instead, there was a look I had never seen before. Shock and utter terror. I quickly through myself off of him and shuffled backwards, horrified with myself.

"I-I'm so sorry." I muttered before running out of the apartment, it was a block before I realized I was running towards Lindsay's apartment, tears blurring my vision.

But I couldn't go to Lindsay's, and I couldn't go home. I had nowhere to escape to. No open arms to throw myself into when everything hurt so much. I noticed people staring at me, I probably looked like a monster. I hid in a alley and buried my head in my hands. The sobbing and shaking took over my body, helped me lose myself in the emotion. I wanted to scream and kick and thrash. But I couldn't. I was alone. Without anywhere to go.


	10. Chapter 10

"You kissed him? Ballsy move, man." Sam compliments, as I'm curled up on his couch. He's the only one I could go to, no one else would understand. He hands me a cup of hot chocolate and smiles supportively.

My cheeks stung from all the crying and I just want was to evaporate into thin air. It's good to know that someone is here for me when I feel so alone. He sets a blanket on my shoulders and then sits across from me on an arm chair. His apartment is so _Samuel_; there's hemp everywhere and blankets galore. An array of guitars line the wall and everything looks second hand, well loved. He's lived here for a couple years so he's really made himself at home.

"I've made a huge mistake." I mumble, and shiver at the memory.

The look on Cameron's face flashes across my mind and the tears surge out of my eyes again. This was just so frustrating. Why did I have to do this? I should've just kept it inside. He never needed to know. But now, I've gone and changed it all forever. He'll never look at me the same way again.

Samuel shakes his head at me and says, "I think it's the best thing you could've done. It's not fair to deny how you feel, Damian. It would've driven you crazy, tortured you."

"But it's not about me! It's the fact that Cameron doesn't and couldn't ever feel the same way. But it just felt so right and I didn't even care about his feelings. I just wanted to kiss him, just to see what it would be like. For once, I went for what I wanted and it's the worst thing I could've done." I object to his opinion, even though, technically, he is right.

"You had to be honest with him at some point. Otherwise things would've just gotten harder and harder for you." He retorts, getting more frustrated with me.

"I'm done with would've, could've, should'ves! It already happened. It's done. I messed up and I can't ever take it back. In some ways, I don't want to take it back. But in more ways, I wish I could just get rid of these nasty thoughts I have about him. It's wrong." I spit, my self hatred boiling inside of me.

"Nasty? What are you saying? Being gay is just as normal as being straight, some people just don't realize it. Please, don't hate yourself for the way you feel when it's a completely valid feeling." Samuel responds, his eyes furrowing in concern.

"But the way Cam looked at me, he thought it was wrong. His eyes were full of disgust, I've never seen him look at me like that before and frankly, I don't want to have to see it again. I'll just have to move out." I conclude, setting down my finished drink on the coffee table. I pull my knees up to my chest to comfort myself.

"That's ridiculous. Don't you remember how awesome Cameron was about Alex? He didn't care if he was gay and he was proud of him for being who he was." Sam reminds me and he does have a point.

"It's not the same. I'm his best friend. Or… was. He doesn't live with Alex or see him every day." I explain and Samuel grabs the mug from off the table. He brings it into the kitchen which is basically part of the living room and washes it off under the tap.

The monotony of the water calms me. It's soothing. I remember when I lived in Derry, I would go to the local indoor swimming pool twice a week. It was so relaxing, just doing lap upon lap: mindless exercise. It distracted me from any problems I ever had: a sanctuary in the form of water.

"You should sleep. You look like crap." Sam notes, before going over to a closet and retrieving an extra comforter.

"Thanks." I say sarcastically, taking the comforter and wrapping it around myself. The comfort of sleep would have to do.

"I think maybe you're over-thinking this and he was just in shock. I mean, no offence, but if my best friend randomly planted one on me, I'd be pretty surprised." He explains his perspective of my situation.

"You didn't see his eyes. He was absolutely repulsed. I could tell." I respond. I shake my head to expel the image from my mind. His beautiful eyes full of such distaste.

"Either way, I'm sorry, man. Sweet dreams." Sam greets before turning of the light and entering his bedroom.

"Night, Sam." I murmur into the darkness.

Sleep comes easily but in the morning I wake to something that leaves me taken aback. A text from Cameron simply saying:

**Can we talk?**


	11. Chapter 11

I look at the text and am in complete awe. What could this mean? Why in hell could he want to talk to me after what happened.. and so soon? He probably just wants to tell me we can't be friends anymore and to give me a date by when I should have all my things out of the apartment.

What should I even text him back? I hesistate for a while and then decide to think on it awhile so I put the phone back onto the coffee table.

Sam groggily opens his bedroom door and shuffles out in to the kitchen.

"Morning, Damian. You feeling any better?" He asks, peering into his fridge.

"A bit. But, I'm a bit confused." I answer, regarding the text situation.

"Well, I know what'll make you feel better. Bacon and eggs. I'm kinda an expert. How do you like them?" He turns toward me and proposes.

"Extra Crispy. Scrambled." I respond in monotone. My mind is too caught up in the text to really get excited for the food, my mouth thinks otherwise. I begin to salivate and my stomach gurgles.

"So what's got yah down? The same thing?" Sam wonders, as he pulls a frying pan out from under the sink. He puts it on the stove and the flame ignites. He throws the bacon in first and it begins to sizzle.

"He sent me a text." I murmur, still unsure of how to process what had happened.

"What? Really? What does it say?" He demands, turning out, intrigued.

I pick my phone up and I recite: "All it says is 'Can we talk'."

"Wow. What did you say back?" He asks, a look of wonder in his eyes. Having all this drama going on around him must be sheer entertainment. But I know he cares, so I indulge the conversation.

"I haven't said anything back. I don't know what to say because I don't know what he means or what he wants. It's a … delicate situation." I explain, becoming nervous about my response again.

"Just say something neutral like 'Yes. When?'. That wouldn't hurt, would it?" He suggests, going back to his breakfast making.

The smell of the food was intoxicating and I finally pick my sorry ass off the couch and walk toward the kitchen, the blanket still wrapped around me.

"I don't know at this point. I don't want to make him uncomfortable. But that's probably the best thing to say." I respond, looking down at my phone. I don't want anything to do with the situation I've been put in. I just want to throw down the phone, eat a yummy breakfast and forget any of this ever happened.

But that's not fair to myself or Cameron…

"You're pathetic. I'll do it for you." Sam chastises as he pulls the phone away from me. I struggle and whine to reach for it but he ducks away, running toward the living room.

He composes and sends the text quickly so I don't have another chance to stop him. _Well, shit._

Sam smiles, satisfied, and hands me back my phone. "Now that wasn't too hard." He teases.

I scowl at him and cross my arms in defeat. The smell of the food entrances me back into the kitchen as Sam laughs at my stubborn response. He follows me and turns off the stove, serving out the bacon and eggs onto two separate plates. I grab one of the plates and return to my perch on the couch.

Before I can take my first bite, my phone beeps. Sam divebombs for it and reads the text from Cameron aloud: "Three? Macy's having dinner with a cousin. I'll be at the apartment."

"That's promising!" Sam exclaims excitedly. I roll my eyes, he's getting way too into this.

"Why does he always have to be so vague?" I complain, rubbing my temples as a stress headache rears it's head.

"It's not that vague! He wants to meet up with you when Macy's around.. that could mean something!" He encourages, taking a big bite out of his own food.

I nibble on mine, having lost my appetite almost completely because of the stress. "Or it could mean that he doesn't want Macy around to hear about what happened!" I object.

"Stop over-thinking this. You have to put more faith in Cameron, you can't just decide how he feels." Sam explains, giving me a different point of view. While this should comfort me, it only makes me more anxious. It shows that I have even less control over the situation.

"I guess you're right. I'll just say 'sure' back." I decide, before punching my response into the phone and sending it.

I finish my food and thank Sam for the hospitality. I need some fresh air before I face Cameron. I take a walk to the centre of the city and enjoy the L.A. sun. As much as I miss Ireland, I will never get over the comforting temperature of this side of the world.

I check my phone too often and the minutes slip by too fast. It's 2:55 when I finally make my way up the stairs to the apartment. I can't just enter unannounced so I put my keys back into my pocket. I sigh deeply before raising my hand to knock on my own door.


	12. Chapter 12

One minute, Damian and I are messing each other around and the next his lips are on mine. All I can do is pull away in surprise. What just happened?

Damian and I have always been close. But never this close. It feels wrong. Not because Damian has kissed me but because I'm with someone. Macy. I have essentially cheated on Macy without my control. My lips feel alive with connection but I'm sick to my stomach with guilt. This feeling reflects in my eyes and Damian's blue eyes go stormy as he evaluates my reaction. He's as surprised by the kiss as I am.

Before I can explain my negative reaction, he runs out the door after muttering, "I'm sorry."

I want to run after him but I'm rooted to the spot. Shock has taken over my motor skills. I lay on the ground in thought for the next couple of hours. I can't imagine the kind of pain and confusion that Damian is in. I feel awful but I have to wait for Macy to come home. It wouldn't be fair to her otherwise.

The way that Damian has been acting around Macy suddenly makes perfect sense. Well, sort of. I don't know exactly how Damian is feeling so I can't say for sure if he was jealous of Macy and I. If he does feel the way about me that I think he does, I can't imagine how much it hurt him to see us together. Having her here was never a fair option, if only he had told me before. But it's his right to have kept his feelings a secret.

"What are y'all doing on the floor?" Macy asks as she walks into the apartment. She giggles and then walks over to me, crouching down to my level.

Should I just tell her the truth? That wouldn't be very fair to Damian. It's not exactly my secret to tell. I hesitate before saying, "I decided to try a new… angle for song writing."

She laughs at me and then helps me up. It's a weak lie but even if she takes it as a joke, she seems to accept it.

"Where's Damian? Trying to make the Lindsay situation better? God, that was awful." Macy gossips, putting one hand onto the kitchen counter.

For some reason this makes me angry. He obviously didn't mean to hurt Lindsay. He might've just been confused.

"I don't know where he is. But have some respect, Mace. He's obviously going through something. So stop being so judgemental." I snap, heat rising to my cheeks.

She is taken aback by my reaction. She's used to me always agreeing with her and being on her side. Not this time. Not when it involves my best friend. Not when it's about Damian, who is going through something she will never be able to understand.

Macy is as close to perfection as there is. Not until now do I notice it. But with this perfection, comes a great personality flaw: she's completely unaware when she's wrong. When she has made a mistake. That's when I realize I don't want perfection. I want the farthest from it. But it'd be cruel to tell that to her now, it would just confuse her. It would only cause more pain.

"Somebody's defensive." She complains, flipping part of her curly blond hair over her shoulder.

Macy really is beautiful. She could be the person in pictures next to me that make people envy me. But maybe that's not what I want either. I have often imagined what it would be like to spend my life with Macy. It's exactly what my mom and dad expect of us. She's been my longest girlfriend and she used to be the closest thing to a best friend. I was never really good friends with guys but I trusted Macy. Trusted. Do I not trust her now?

Damian's my best friend. Now that I have moved away from Texas, he's my constant. Back in Texas, that's what Macy was. She was always there for me, no matter what happened. But now, when I call her, we both feign excitement and relief to hear each other's voices but in reality, we just serve as a distraction from each other's new lives. It's rather depressing, really.

She's right here in front of me now. The girl I'm supposed to long for. The one I 'love'. But all I can think about is Damian. My best friend with those sad eyes of his, in pain. The pain I caused him. By just being me. The pain caused by the look I gave him. The look was only sprouted from guilt and nothing else because I'm attached. To Macy.

I can barely stand to look at her. My frustration is boiling over but I contain myself. I am not willing to cause any more hurt today. So, I go through the motions of the happy go lucky boyfriend. She leaves in two days. I can pretend until then.

We go to dinner but still, the thoughts of Damian plague my mind. I don't even deny them any longer. Tomorrow, I need to find him. When we return home, we go to sleep without even saying good night to each other. This is the beginning of an ending.

I rest my head on my pillow and consider calling Damian. I leave it until morning and send him a simple text:

**Can we talk?**


	13. Chapter 13

Cam opens the door before my knuckle can even rest upon it. As soon as I see him, my heart skips a beat. I've got it bad…

"You're here. I'm so glad you came." He breathes out, sighing in what seems like relief. This makes me smile and relax considerably.

"Hi…" I say before I start to shift uncomfortably. He's blocking the doorway.

"Oh, uh, sorry." He mumbles, before jumping out of the way. He gestures for me to enter the apartment and I chuckle lightly.

I walk over to the couch and sit down. It feels right to sit here. Where I can just relax. He sits down across from me on an arm chair, I appreciate that he's giving me space but I just want him to hold me. To tell me it's going to be all be fine. Fine works for me, it means we can just go back to normal, leave this all behind us. Go back to how it was before my feelings complicated our friendship. That's all I need from him: friendship.

"Damian. I am so sorry." Cameron apologizes, his eyes giving me an intense look. He means it. Of course, even if he was lying, I would forgive him in an instant, but this is genuine.

"It's okay. I made a mistake. It won't happen again, your reaction was valid." I answer, playing with a loose thread on the couch. This whole situation was so embarrassing. I just had to mess up everything with that stupid kiss.

"No. It wasn't okay. I didn't mean to react so negatively. Honestly. It's just because… I'm still with Macy." He protests adamantly.

I'm floored. I can't even begin to hide how giddy I am. My smile says it all. I'd been torturing myself for all the wrong reasons, he had no problem with the kiss besides the fact that he was with someone! With _Macy. _He didn't hate me, not even in the slightest. He didn't think it was wrong at all. This just made me love him more.

_woah. _Did I just _love? _Oh god… I was in love Cameron Mitchell. Irrevocable, undeniable, love. This felt stronger than anything I felt for anyone. Unfortunately, there was another factor: Macy and the fact that Cameron probably only had platonic feeling for me.

Without thinking, I lunge toward Cameron and I'm hug/tackling him again. This never leads anywhere useful, so I pull away from him as quickly as I went toward him. When I look in his green eyes, he looks slightly disappointed which makes me blush.

"So.. you like me, eh?" He asks, smugly. Now he was just getting full of himself.

"Oh common, Cam, you can answer that question yourself." I snap, rolling my eyes.

"No, I can't. You're sending me mixed signals." He teases, poking me in the side.

"OW!" I cry over-dramatically.

"Like that hurt, Damo." He says incredulously. I begin to fake sob and cover my eyes. "Oh my god, did I actually hurt you?" He asks, leaning toward me in genuine concern. I got him good.

I turn back toward him and he's studying my face. His hot breath dances along my cheeks which I'm sure are now a deep red. My face is awful at hiding how I'm feeling. My eyes look deep into his as he searches mine to see if he actually hurt me. He actually cares. Deeply cares. I reach up to his chin and craddle it in my palm. His skin is undeniably soft. I want to explore every inch of it.

_wow, Damian, you really want to jump Cam's bones…_

I shake the thought away as we continue our comfortable stare down. It wouldn't be fair to Macy for me to indulge in the ecstasy of Cam's lips again. Especially when Cameron obviously doesn't feel the same way. He's just playing with fire, enjoying the danger our close vicinity provides. I reach my other hand to his chest and press it right in the middle. His heart is racing just as fast as mine. What could this possibly mean? Does he actually feel the same way as me? Or is he just thrill-seeking?

I pull away, shaking my head with confusion. I get a bit frustrated. "Is this like a game to you? Well, wake up, Cameron, it's not. This involves real people. Macy has feelings and I have feelings too. You have to stop messing with my mind. I don't know what you want but I know what I want. I want to be with you and you have to know that. Every time you look at me with that… intense look in your eyes, you give me false hope. If you don't feel anything, you need to just be honest with me. You at least owe me that. A pinch of honesty. But most importantly, you owe it to yourself. It took me awhile to figure out my feelings for you, I get it. It's confusing… but this can't go on like this anymore. It's not fair to any of us." I rant, refusing to make eye contact. I won't get caught up in the playing field anymore. I refuse.

There's a silence and it hurts more than anything. I know he won't leave Macy. Even if he had feelings, he would never break up with her for me. He's a coward. Either way. How can I love a coward…?

He touches my arm and my nerves reacts so electrifyingly to his fingertips on my skin, that I can't stop my eyes from being captured in his. He lick his lips and the next moment feels like it hangs forever. This can't actually be happening…

**Cameron Mitchell is kissing me.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Cameron Mitchell is kissing me.**

It isn't a dream. It is absolutely real. I can feel his lips moving against mine as he deepens the connection. Let me just repeat that… _HE _deepens the connection. I was in autopilot because I am in so much shock. Good shock. The best shock I have ever experienced. I just want this to last.

"WHAT THE HELL?"

Nothing this perfect can last long. Macy's interruption proves that. What happens next was just a mess of mayhem…

Macy runs toward me and gives me a hard slap across the face, she doesn't even touch Cameron.

"You filthy, conniving, sick bastard! You think you can just steal my boyfriend? I should've known with the way you were always eyeing him. I thought you were jealous of him because he had a gorgeous girlfriend and you didn't. I should have trusted my gut about you, you…. SNAKE!" She screams, pushing me down onto the couch and jumping on top of me. She begins to punch me in **MY **gut and all I can do is laugh. She has never looked this pathetic.

Tears stream down her face as she begins to sob, the salty drops hitting my face. I almost expect Cameron to come save me and then I look at him. He looks devastated, like the whole world is crashing down around him. That's when I realize I am the negative part of the equation. Macy and Cameron were fine before I got involved, they were the perfect couple and I had to go and screw that up. No wonder she hates me.

I now feel incredibly guilty. I'm the home wrecker. This is the last thing I wanted to do. To cause pain. I brought others into my pain. Cameron didn't deserve that and neither did Macy, no matter how ridiculous she was.

Slowly, she slides off of my chest. She passes by Cameron and they don't exchange a single word. He look absolutely ruined and it's all my fault. I just had to complicate things for my own gain.

The apartment is engulfed in an awkward silence as Macy packs her thing. Cameron doesn't dare move for he knows this will just invoke another Macy attack. He also refuses to make eye contact. I don't know what hurts more: the bruises slowly appearing on my chest or the fact that Cameron doesn't dare to make eye contact with me.

It takes me a second to stand to my feet and I can see that Cameron is crying. I don't make a move close to him but still when I start to walk, Cameron flinches in reaction. He is once against disgusted by me. I have ruined everything. The sad thing is that I don't even have the strength to escape the situation, so I simply make my way to the kitchen. The steps feel heavier than the should and they sound disturbingly loud in the monotony of the apartment. Each step rips open a new wound, scratches at the already bloody bruise that is our dark situation.

"I'm sorry." I manage to whisper. I can hear his soft whimpering but can do nothing to quell his pain. I want nothing more than to rush to his aid but I know that it will just cause more pain.

Macy storms out of the room, her face is stained with hot tears and she's on a rampage again. I get it. She's going from blaming me, to blaming Cameron, to blaming herself. This cycle is the anger at me. She stalks toward me and I begin to cower. She raises her studded purse and is ready to strike when Cameron grabs the bag to stop her. I am pleasantly surprised but then I realize he isn't trying to save me from arm, he is trying to stop her from making an awful mistake. It's all about her. It always has been. The only reason he was ever interested in me, even for a second, was for the danger of it. This thought makes me sick to my stomach. But for my own sake, I keep this emotion from tracing across my face. I need to protect myself.

"Don't." Cameron orders, in an oddly soft voice to Macy. He turns her toward him and that's when I see the obvious regret in his eyes. All he wants to do is mend his perfect life. Make it all go back to normal. Well, too late for that. He needs to face his actions and with a strong girl like Macy, she won't just forgive and forget. This is his turn to be slapped in the face. The sound is stale in the room, enough to make my stomach lurch but I can't witness Cameron in pain. In any form. How pathetic am I?

I use this as the perfect motivation to abandon my position in the room. I run to my room and that's the cue for the tears to begin pouring down my face. I sink to the floor as Cameron and Macy begin to scream at each other. Their voices are full of hatred, passion and confusion. They have so much history. And I tarnished that with my actions.

I close my eyes and cover my ears to try to block out reality for awhile. Before I know it, the battle outside of my door has come to an end.

There's a tentative knock at my door. But, I don't have the strength to answer it.


	15. Chapter 15

Macy is going to stay at a friend's until her flight. She says she doesn't want to see me again and she has promised that we will never be friends. I screwed up. Beyond belief. So why do I feel so relieved…?

I wanted to kiss Damian. I won't pretend that I didn't. I'm tired of lying to myself. I have feelings for Damian and I have had them for awhile. Before he kissed me, I just didn't know what had changed about our relationship but now I do. I should've never invited Macy to L.A.

Now that Macy's gone, I have to talk to Damian. This whole situation is so screwed up and I just want him to know this isn't his fault: the hurt, the pain and the confusion, it was all out of either of our control. You can't decide to feel a certain way and if you deny yourself your true feelings. It's just the same at torturing yourself. Why would anyone inflict pain upon themselves? Unless they were masochistic or something…

I knock on Damian's door and wait for him to respond. If he feels as strongly as I do about him, he'll upon the door. _….Right?_

But maybe not, he thinks he's the villain here. The one who must be hated. He's re-living the Lindsay experience all over again. It's not fair to him. I knock softer this time, I hope he understands the gentle gesture. And he does, because he opens the door slowly.

His face is streaked with tears and my heart drops instantly. I just want to hold him close and comfort him. To tell him it will all be okay, because it all will be okay, as long as we have each other.

"I'm sorry." He manages to choke out and my heart breaks with his words. He's taking the blame, the guilt is probably devouring him. I wrap my arms around him and pull his head close to my chest. I plant a comforting kiss into his brown hair and he shivers in my arms. He's still in shock and confused. He doesn't understand that it's he who I want now and not Macy.

"Macy and I are over. It's been over for a long time. The kiss made me realize that." I explain, hoping to clear his guilt away.

It's my choice to feel how I feel, he didn't persuade or pressure me into anything. But I still don't think he believes what is happening. He looks up, eyes sparkling with tears, but I soon recognize that they aren't tears of despair anymore, but tears of happiness.

"Are you sure? I mean, maybe you're just feeling like that right now. I don't you to throw away a good thing just because you're feeling impulsive." Damian objects and I know now that he still doesn't believe me.

I roll my eyes and pull him into our third kiss. I can taste the salt sweetness of his tears on his lips as they press hungrily against mine. He thinks he wants this more than I do, when this kiss makes me feel more than I have ever felt for someone. Something about Damian's touch ignites or awakens a charge of electricity inside me, why would I want to ever give this up? It makes me feel more alive than I have ever felt with Macy or with any other person. I could become addicted to this feeling.

_I fear I already have…_

Damian is the one to pull away and when he does I know I have the dopiest look on my face. I can't help it. Just being around makes me want more. Damian bursts out laughing at the way I look and then pulls me into a sentimental hug.

"I guess it's just us now." Damian notes, breathing into my shoulder. I can feel that we are finally at peace, no longer at odds with our confusion. Nothing needs to be questioned any longer.

"Finally." I agree, over dramatically. This makes him chuckle and move back from our embrace. I pout at the lack of contact and he just smirks at me.

His phone buzzes and he looks at me for permission to look at it. As if he needs it. I nod anyway. He grabs his phone out of his pocket and flips it open.

"Who is it?" I ask, a little too desperately.

"Somebody's jealous." He teases, winking at me.

"No. Just curious." I answer, I am the picture of nonchalance. I think that jealousy is petty and can only hinder relationships. Why not just trust your partner's loyalty?

_Yup. I just called Damian my partner. We are officially going down that road…_

I chuckle to myself at the thought as Damian reads the text he had just received.

"It's from Sam. He's checking up on our… situation." Damian explains, smiling brightly when he says the word 'our'. I can't help but smile along. Anything that makes Damian happy makes me feel twice as joyous.

"Well, tell him about it then." I prompt, resting my head on Damian's shoulder to peer down at the cell phone screen.

"What should I even say?" He wonders, ghosting his fingers over the keyboard, with hesitation.

"Be honest. Tell him we're together. I'm sure he'll be more than supportive." I encourage and Damian follows my advice. He basically scribes what I have just said into text form before pressing 'send'.

Damian turns toward me and takes my chin in his hand. "I can't believe this is actually happening." He whispers, intimately.

"Me either. But I am so glad it is…" I agree, resting my forehead against his.


	16. Chapter 16

"Who called it? I called it! I did!" Sam celebrates his prediction as he dances around the apartment. I can't help but laugh. So much has happened in the last couple weeks that it almost seems ridiculous. It was probably like watching a soap opera for Sam, of course he enjoyed every moment of it.

Well, as for happy ever-afters, I think I'm liking this. I got my Prince Charming. I got the fairy godmother along the way (Sam), I even had my own version of an Evil Stepsister in Macy, although I guess that's not a perfectly sound evaluation. The ugly only came out when she was defending what was hers. I guess I would do the same if someone were trying to get between Cameron and I.

At this thought, I slip my hand through his, protectively. He's smiles at my touch and nuzzles his cheek into mine, as we sit comfortably on the couch. We are waiting on the rest of the guests to arrive for our Glee Project reunion party. The party is being hosted for a bit of a selfish reason but Cameron nor I really care: we want it to be in a celebratory situation, surrounded by people we love when we tell everyone that we are together. It isn't meant to be a big reveal, we just thought, why _not _have a party?

This whole thing has been quite the journey. There were the darkest of times when I felt the world collapsing around me but those are now outweighed by the memory of Cameron's lips against mine for the first time. Relishing in the thought, I lift my hand to my lips and feel the tingle still dancing on my lips. Cameron looks at me, smiling that dazzling smile he always has and kisses me for real. This is no longer in my dreams, I no longer have to torture myself by hiding my feelings, and I get to kiss him back without hesitation, without an awful feeling of guilt. It is entirely liberating.

A knock sounds at the door that causes us to pull apart and I jump to my feet to go answer it. I roll my eyes at Sam still dancing triumphantly by himself, seemingly too busy to even bother answering the door. The guy has helped me through a lot but he still can be somewhat of an idiot sometimes. But I still love him to death. How can I not? I basically owe him everything. He was the one to support me and encourage me not only to be who I am but also to pursue Cameron. I'd still be crying to myself without his help and no look where we are…

I open the door and am surprised to see Lindsay standing in front of me with a shy smile on her face. I hadn't anticipated her showing up to the party at all, after all the drama I had put her through. I had essentially used her in a sad attempt to make Cameron jealous but also try to distract myself from my feelings for him. It ended in me basically forcing myself on her in a drunken stupor. We haven't talked since. But here she is… I'm completely puzzled.

"Hi…" She mumbles, looking up at me cautiously.

"Hey, Linds." I say before extending my arms and collecting her into a friendly hug. It won't make up for everything I had done to her, but at least it was a start. She didn't resist the embrace at all, she melted into it voluntarily. We had always been great friends after the Glee Project and after I messed up, it had felt completely wrong. I wanted to talk to her and text her about my troubles, but I couldn't because I had hurt my friendship with my mistake.

As she pulls away, her eyes are brimming with tears but she's smiling brightly. "I missed you so much." She explains, hugging me again. With her brunette head against my chest again, I feel like everything is finally in place. If she can forgive me, every one can accept Cameron and my relationship.

"I missed you too. I'm so sorry for what I did to you." I apologize and rest my chin upon her head. Behind her, Marissa, Bryce, Emily and Hannah appear. All with huge smiles on their faces, they greet me with 'heys' and 'how have yah beens'. Finally, our family is back together. Everybody's schedules have been packed since the Glee Project ended, it was great. Marissa had booked a cruise gig, Hannah was doing voiceovers and Bryce was putting out his new album soon. None of us had lost when we were done with the Glee Project; everyone had won in his or her own way. Emily had even managed to book a bit part on Pretty Little Liars for the next season. Everyone was working and doing so successfully.

Everyone has finally arrived and we are all packed in Cam and my modest apartment, everyone mingling and catching up. I can't help but people watch. People have been grilling me with questions about my experience on glee and I can't help but answer half-heartedly. Sure, the experience was amazing but the news about Cam and I was much more exciting in my mind. When a natural pause comes in the party, Cameron stops the music and walks toward me with a smile on his face.

I'm nervous. Ridiculously nervous. I know that in this industry sexuality really isn't a thing you are judged on at all, but all our friends only knew us both as straight. This will probably be a big shock to most of them. They are all whispering to each other, making their guesses on what our announcement might be. They should brace their selves.

Cameron laces his hand into mine that elicits a surprised gasp from Hannah. Everybody becomes quiet but there is an air of excitement and positivity about it.

"So… as you can probably guess from the hand-holding, Damian and I are together." Damian explains and everyone begins to buzz happily. Emily, Lindsay and Hannah rush toward us and envelop us in a hug. There's no escape from the arms of three ecstatic girls, so both Cameron and I accept our defeat and fall into the hug.

Lindsay pulls me aside and punches me in the arm. "So _that's _ why you bit me! Why didn't you just tell me, Damian?" She demands, frustrated as hell.

I rebound from the pain her attack caused and answer, "I was deep in denial at that moment. I said I was sorry!"

She smiles and pulls me into another hug. It always seems to be the answer for us. A hug will solve everything, mend the unmendable. Good old hug therapy with Damian and Lindsay.

For the rest of the party, people congratulate us and ask us about how it happened. It all becomes a blur. Don't get me wrong, it was lovely to see everyone, but now I just want to be home alone with my boyfriend.

"See you guys tomorrow!" Sam calls before slamming the door behind him.

"Well, now we're alone." Cam purrs, his back against the door. I roll my eyes at his advance and plop myself down on the couch. He sighs, in false disappointment. I know for a fact that he is exhausted as I am. It's time for a cuddle sesh.

"That went smoothly. Better than I thought it would. I imagined Emily in shocked hysterics but she was respectful of our moment." Cam notes, sitting down next to me and slipping his arms around my shoulders.

"That would've been typical. I'm just glad there's no more secrets. It's all out in the open, we don't have to afraid of anything anymore. We can just be…_us." _I share with him and he relaxes into me. I lay my head against in his chest and look up at the beautiful blond that was now _mine._

"I think this is as good as it gets." He mutters. We fall asleep in each other's arms and I know that it will be as close to perfect as it will ever get. Being in the protective hold of the one you love, without a worry in the world.


End file.
